Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince – Movie Review
I review this film with a certain amount of trepidation, as I am extremely biased when it comes to any of the Harry Potter films. After all, the book fans will always be the movies greatest critics, and this film is no different. One thing that will never change is the abundance of cringe-worthy moments, some bad enough to make me want to beat my head with a broomstick. You will have to forgive me for any nitpicking, and I will try my hardest not to bitch about things of no consequence (no promises though). Nevertheless, I did enjoy this film immensely, as I have never laughed so hard in my life whilst inside a movie theatre.
Please know that THERE WILL BE SPOILERS, though seriously, if you don’t know the story by now, what rock have you been living under?
The main problem with the Harry Potter films is that they have to condense a several hundred page book into a two hour movie, so of course subplots have to be dropped and they have to try and reveal everything important while maintaining a comprehensive pace. It’s a pretty tall order, I admit, though I personally think Half Blood Prince does an excellent job at doing just that. Normally with the Harry Potter movies you wouldn’t understand the plot unless you had read the books, since WB has seriously screwed up the storyline in the many films over the years. It’s a shame, because if they hadn’t, you might actually understand what’s going on in Half Blood Prince!
Let’s just presume you somehow managed to understand the story up until now. After the destruction of the Millennium Bridge, we begin our film, interestingly, in a café on a train platform. We see Harry Potter try to be smooth with the pretty waitress, and failing miserably. This is just the first of many romance scenes that seem to fill this whole movie. But no matter, thankfully Dumbledore comes along to take Harry to meet Horace Slughorn, using Harry (unbeknownst to him) like a fat juicy chunk of meat to entice Slughorn to come back to Hogwarts to teach. Of course Slughorn could not resist the ~Chosen One~ and reluctantly agrees to return to Hogwarts. Afterwards Harry goes to his adoptive family, the Weasley’s and we move on to a very different scene.
Narcissia and Bellatrix Malfoy visit Severus Snape in a suspiciously CGI-looking house, to talk about The Dark Lord’s plans for wee Draco Malfoy. Bellatrix doubts Snape’s loyalty to the Dark Side, and ends up making an Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa to help and protect Draco. So begins the Good VS Evil for this movie “ Draco VS Harry and Death Eaters VS the world. The rest of the film follows Draco’s attempts to get Death Eaters into the school by repairing a Vanishing Cabinet and Harry trying to figure out what he’s up to. Dumbledore is also trying to educate Harry on Lord Voldemort’s past through his and Slughorns memories. Slughorn, however, is ashamed that he gave Lord Voldemort the knowledge to become immortal, so much of the film centres around Harry trying to get in Slughorns good books and get the memory. Eventually though, we find out that Lord Voldemort has created SEVEN Horcruxes, through splitting his soul and hiding it in special objects. No wonder the man looks like a snake!
I was very surprised at the very adult nature of this film “ you could still take your kids to it but there is an unbelievable amount of adult humour in Half Blood Prince. There seemed to be a sexual innuendo at every turn, which is even more amusing because that’s exactly how a group of 16 year old would behave. I think it really makes this film, and I’m so glad for it. It feels like Harry Potter had finally come into maturity, instead of constantly being targeted at children.
Speaking of sexual – you wouldn’t believe the amount of romance in this film. Everyone seems to be trying to date everyone; Ron’s snogging Lavender at every turn, Hermione looking on almost green with jealousy, Harry is trying to get in Ginny’s pants, even though she’s dating Dean Thomas. Of course, Ron spends the entire film cock-blocking Harry (with increasingly hilarity), even going so far as to say that he has to Ëœhate all her boyfriends, on principle’. Way to go there Ron, nice and subtle – I doubt the writers/directors could be more obvious if they tried! But Ginny does kind of kiss Harry near the end. It all looks incredibly fake and forced to me, so I’m not sold on Harry/Ginny, I’m sorry. The Ron/Hermione/Lavender triangle is much more interesting, and causes more laughter along the way!
The special effects were stunning, as you would expect. The soundtrack was also something else, though it did make me giggle and/or roll my eyes when it was trying to be overly obvious at Ëœrelationship tension’ or Ëœimportant plot points’. This was only enhanced by the acting “ which was SO much better in Half Blood Prince than ever before. Thank God. Hermione can actually cry convincingly, Draco actually got some screen time and Lavender was amazing in her irritating way. The only one that still annoys me is Harry Potter, funnily enough. Sometimes I wish they would just shut him up. There were numerous occasions where I wanted to punch him in the throat for saying the stupidest dialogue possible, though thankfully they were less cringe-worthy than previous years.
To take a minute to bitch, I have to say the one thing that seriously annoyed me while watching was that every time the Vanishing Cabinet was onscreen, Draco or Harry would pull off this ugly, dusty rug in an overly dramatic swishy fashion, to reveal the cabinet. It was cool the first time, but they had to do it every single time! It was seriously getting on my nerves because it shows EXACTLY what is wrong with the HP movies “ they take an amazing phenomenon and reduce it to something that is ridiculously cliché and overdramatic. It just irks me so much!
Taking all of this into account (and the added bonus for slash fangirls “ HBP has an abundance of gay undertones!!), I still have to conclude that I liked the film very much. Consequently, I rate it a very solid Cool. Half Blood Prince somehow manages to capture the magic of the book and translate it very well to the screen, and even the changes that were made only serve to enhance the viewers understanding. The acting was excellent and the sets amazing (ignoring the continuity failings), complete with the hilarity of watching young teenage mishaps. It is well balanced with the serious and dangerous threat of Lord Voldemort and his followers, as they are never far from your mind. Overall, I think they did a spectacular job and that this is by far the best Harry Potter film to date.
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I have to ask, where are the slashy undertones?
LOL I should have seen this coming. I must preface it with saying that it is purely my opinion and that I have been a long time Harry/Draco shipper, so I am exceptionally biased.
Having said that, I don’t think anyone can really deny that SOMETHING is going on with the men in HBP. It’s not helped that Dumbledore (who we know is gay) keeps encouraging Harry to be ‘collected’ by Slughorn, who seems to be really quite pedaphilic and creepy towards Harry.
My favourite bit though was when Snape shoves Malfoy up against a wall with unnecessary force and Snape wants to help alleviate his stress. (read: *METHAPHOR~!*) And Harry is behind the wall, listening in and breathing heavily. I can’t help thinking dirty thoughts. These thoughts only intensify when the rest of the movie has such ‘romantic intentions’. I’m just sayin’.