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Review

Wallace & Gromit: A Matter Of Loaf And Death

(AKA: Welcome To Ripoff City, Sucker!)

I’m a huge fan of Aardman Animation, and particularly Wallace and Gromit. If you don’t already know the stop-motion claymation team of eccentric inventor Wallace and his plucky canine companion Gromit, you’ve really missed one of the truly great creations of modern animation. Previous efforts outings for Wallace & Gromit include A Grand Day Out, The Wrong Trousers, A Close Shave, and the feature-length epic The Curse of the Were-Rabbit. They are so uniformly brilliant it’s uncanny. It’s as though George Lucas went on and made a whole series of films as good as the original Star Wars, except animated with plasticine, and involving the adventures of a bald and eccentric Brit and his unfeasibly clever plasticine dog. These films are pure bloody magic.

That being so, when I saw Wallace & Gromit: A Matter Of Loaf And Death on sale, I was delighted. I knew there was another one coming, but I thought it was another cinematic release, so I was surprised to see it on DVD. Not entirely surprised, though: I live in rural Tasmania. There’s a lot of cinema we don’t get, so I figured it simply hadn’t come here. When I picked up the case, I noticed two important things: first, A Matter Of Loaf And Death was priced at $35 Au, which is the same as a pricey first-release block-buster, and second, on the back it clearly stated Ëœrun-time:87 mins

Keep that 87 mins in mind. I’m looking at it right now. It’s not a mistake.

When you buy a DVD, what do you think that bit about Ëœrun-time’ means? If you’re like me, and most other DVD buyers, you figure it means the movie runs for 87 minutes, right? And that’s entirely feasible for Wallace and Gromit. Curse of the Were-Rabbit runs longer.

The truth, unfortunately, is much shabbier. A Matter of Loaf and Death is not an 87 minute feature. It’s a 30-minute made-for-TV piece, shot entirely on digital camera, and some avaricious, wrong-headed, f”ked up sleazebag in marketing has made the decision to write 87 minutes run-time on the cover, and charge full feature price for it.

Now I don’t mind the digital stuff. I couldn’t tell the difference. And I don’t mind that it’s short. Most of the Wallace and Gromit material is less than feature-length. What I do mind is that I feel like I’ve been deliberately shafted. I like Aardman, and over the years, I’ve come to have faith in their brand. I love Wallace and Gromit. I loved Chicken Run. I loved Creature Comforts, and I’ve been delighted by everything Aardman has done. So this underhanded piece of bullshit feels like a kick in the nuts from an old friend.

I note this is an ABC DVD. That’s an Australian release right there, for sure. And once again: over the years, I’ve come to place a certain trust in the ABC. They stuck to their guns through the worst of the John Howard years, and they’ve brought some of the best and most interesting people into Australian television. Generally, they’re worth every penny. And so, yes ” to get this kind of deceitful marketing from an ABC release feels like another nut-shot.

I’m sure the total run-time of the DVD is the advertised 87 minutes. After all, the cracking special features include a Ëœmaking of’ the main feature, plus a Ëœmaking of’ a Harvey Nichols advertisement involving Wallace and Gromit, and a couple of bits about Ëœcracking contraptions’ which I haven’t yet watched since I’m too fucking angry and betrayed to be interested. So I’m not accusing ABC or Aardman out blatant, outright false advertising.

But I am saying this: the DVD says the run-time is 87 minutes, and I am here to tell you that this is a little 30-minute made-for-TV feature. Yes, fine, it’s a marvellous piece of animation with a great story and two much-loved characters, but it runs for 30 minutes, not 87 minutes. And it is with that fact in mind that I want you to consider how you’re going to spend your money. I think you deserve the right to be properly informed. I think you deserve to choose for yourself whether a 30-minute Wallace and Gromit piece is worth the same price (and even a little more!) than a first-release DVD blockbuster that runs for two hours.

Folks, I would never, ever condone outright piracy of a film. But neither can I condone this kind of deceit, no matter how much I love Aardman, no matter how worthy I think the ABC may be. If you see this DVD on the shelves, keep this review in mind. And while you’re at it, plug this review into Reddit and Digg, and pass it around to your friends and anybody else who might be interested, because those of us who do choose to pay our money for a DVD deserve at the very least to make a properly informed choice. And an advertised 87-minute run-time over the top of a 30-minute feature is NOT full and proper disclosure.

This is a nasty, shabby, pathetic way to treat those of us who are willing to pay for content. Next time I see an Aardman or an ABC DVD that interests me, I’m going to make a note. Then I’m going to do a lot of research first before I consider buying it. And if I think that they’re running another shabby little scam, charging full feature price without telling the buyer that they’re getting perhaps a third of a feature-length film, they’re not going to get a single cent out of me. I hope to hell that this review helps you make a properly informed decision too.

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About The Author

Dirk Flinthart

Dirk Flinthart is a mildly notorious writer, raconteur and sometime rakehell bunkered in the forbidding hills of north-east Tasmania. He's probably best known as an occasionally fictitious character in John Birmingham's books, but the reality is both stranger, and far more coherent. Flinthart's recent works include Angel Rising (with Twelfth Planet Press), Canterbury 2100 (as editor, courtesy of Agog! fiction) and he has a story shortlisted to the 2008 Aurealis Awards. Having just completed his black belt in ju-jitsu and begun his studies of Iaido, Flinthart is confident of surviving the coming Zombie Apocalypse in fine fashion, and expects to continue writing speculative fiction long after the undead have eaten your rich, gooey brains...

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Article Information

  • Posted: Sunday, February 15th, 2009
  • Author: Dirk Flinthart
  • Filed Under: Review, TV
Tags: , , ,

Comments

2 Responses to “Wallace & Gromit: A Matter Of Loaf And Death”
  1. Donald Carrick The Warhead Chicken says:

    Boy that’s a shitty move. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that done before, I’ve seen 2 run-times before (one bonus, one feature) but never seen them emalgamated to make the film seem longer.
    In the UK this was shown on TV and is currently on amazon for £8.98, about as much as you’d expect to pay for a film that’s been out for a while, but since I don’t own it I don’t know what they’re claiming the run-time is. Like I said it was shown here on TV (I think on christmas day) so most people who like Wallace and Gromit will have watched it and will know it’s a 30-minute one.
    I wonder if they’re only screwing you over in Australia or whether it’s in other countries too.

    February 16, 2009 at 6:12 am
  2. Scott John Harrison Shaded Spriter says:

    Yes it was on Christmas day – about 1 hour after the Doctor who Christmas special.

    February 19, 2009 at 5:51 pm

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