Comments on: Case 39 – Competition (Finished)

By: Anita Holloway

Anita Holloway — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 23:48:00 +0000

Tom Cruise: SEVEN runaway crazed Aussie suburban middle class brides come for him in the fiery haze of a teen Tits n Arse summer…not unlike the bulls in Pamplona raging up behind one, the strange expression of adrenalin spews from Tom's face as she rushes forth from his movie set. Sloooow mowshon silent screaming. We hear the grotesque slashing of taffeta against taffeta, and the body-dragging scuffing of moccasins on the cobblestones. They're coming! But… then Tom turns to check their distance, and twists..down he tumbles. His flacid ankle is severed completely off in a twisting disaster. But he can keep going..for years just…one… movie… after the other? After seven minutes he gets up, ascertains the slo-mo oncoming brothel of screaming squawking crying "Oi luv you Tom!" . He races past a guy throwing cocktail glasses at the mob, then the other ankle gives way now…rip…he's running on stumps: only 4 feet now. Can he just make it back to the trailer. He can do it. [We watch with baited breath; not hoping, but knowing that it's all over Tom, but we can't look away from the horror.] Then 2 feet, 1.756feet, over a time, we see Tom reduced slowly piece by piece to merely a scalp. He scurries over a BMX laying on the grass, and then fillets, with great knobness as one does in underpants and dark glasses, finally on to the trailer step, and abruptly halts for one final…hair -raising moment as a tensions cable catches him at the last second. "Toooommmmm! No!!!" screams Katie inside, who has been frying grits for the children and her dinner guests: some mouthy wheelchair-bound war vet, a tall redhead in a 'Sweathog' shirt, and Brooke Shields who could see this coming right from the very beginning!. [We close with loud, pulsing, junkie music.....There is applaud from the sidelines!!!!] That's better than scientological aliens gods collecting him for a good probing. (Didn't he star in that movie??)

By: @thegreeno

@thegreeno — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 11:01:43 +0000

I vote for Renée Zellweger (not for this movie as I've not seen it yet). She'd be leading an elite team of sun worshiping hamsters who hijack a NASA shuttle and, like Icarus, get too close to our celestial furnace (which explains her curious squint) and immolate in a spectacular furnace. An accident on set means that the lack of CGI means that Ms Zellweger is now unavailable for Bridget Jones 3, or indeed any future project.

By: @onegirlinmelb

@onegirlinmelb — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 10:34:31 +0000

PS please if I win can I NOT have that creepy hand?

By: @onegirlinmelb

@onegirlinmelb — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 10:33:50 +0000

Shia LaBeouf AND Megan Fox – squished by both Optimus Prime and Megatron once they realise that although they hate each other, that those two humans are douchebags and need to go! ^_^

By: Kendan Lovell

Kendan Lovell — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 04:43:48 +0000

I vote BINDI IRWIN!! She arrives at the 2010 Kids Choice Awards and she’s on the red carpet with a crocodile on a chain. She does tricks like jumping over the croc and brushing her teeth with the spikey bits on the crocs tail. Then she goes and puts her head in the crocs mouth and just as she goes to pull her head out the croc coughs…three weeks later Bindi is on a respirator in hospital in a coma. Terri Irwin is distraught because she is about to turn the machine off “why, of why hast thou cursed mine family god!!!!??”. Bindi caught a rare viral disease that ate her from the inside out. Beep…beep…beep….beep……beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

By: Rikita

Rikita — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 04:08:05 +0000

Kevin Costner….. They go to make The Bodyguard 2 and Whitney starts singing, Kevin’s head explodes, his guts fall out, his legs break off and when he thinks it’s all just a bad dream, Freddy Krueger turns up & finishes him off!!!

By: Jason King

Jason King — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 09:31:19 +0000

Scarlett Johanssen – her ass grows and grows until it devours her and then explodes

By: Mp3

Mp3 — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 01:43:23 +0000

Dave Gibbons decapitated by Odysseus riding Aslan, with his remains burnt by FAGJ.

By: Ivan/GreyWolf

Ivan/GreyWolf — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 01:34:35 +0000

Nic Cage, his head would catch fire… oh wait…

By: Brianna

Brianna — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 05:03:55 +0000

Seeing as how I have already seen Paris Hilton die twice I guess i should pick someone else. Im thinking Mandy Moore…that girl has always annoyed me. Not quite sure what it is about her but she is someone I love to hate. As for how she would die…how about suffocating to death because she is being squished under a very large monster slightly resembling Jabba the Hutt.

By: DIDOMAN

DIDOMAN — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 03:22:47 +0000

Robert Pattinson and death by what else, a stake right through the heart, and just in case, a silver bullet right between the eyes… I got more ways if you want…